“On a Rope” goes in depth with the relationships between others and with yourself. It shows the depth of self-hostage and expresses the relationships people have with their selves whilst within a toxic relationship. It is an expression of good music, cheap red wine and the lonely evening’s business fanatic’s face whilst waiting for their partner or sometimes no one to come home. The piece was held within Studio 2 to imply a more compact and close feeling. It implies studio 2 meets studio apartment with basic furniture and fittings, but somewhere empty with time to reflect, in fact, a lot of time to reflect. The piece could take place anyway making it durable and easy to change with time.
My influences.
Joni Mitchell
My first influence, Joni Mitchell was one of empowerment. Her musical influence became a tasteful concept for my performance as I began to move and play with her voice realising she gave comfort, voice and a story to the piece. Influencing my music decisions, I listened closely to her work from albums such as Blue, Both Sides Now, Court and Spark, The Hissing of Summer Lawns and Turbulent Indigo. She offers a support for herself and tells a story throughout her words and melodies. At first I listen to songs of a happier calibre as I knew they would be ill fitting with my piece and make people think about the fronting of happiness within other. I listened to People’s Parties and The Same Situations and thought about the lyrics and implications they had with the beginning of my piece.
The ending of People’s Parties implies miss judgement of someone:
I wish I had more sense of humor
Keeping the sadness at bay
Throwing the lightness on these things
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away (Mitchell, 73)
After vigorously chasing music and only being able to choose two-three songs due to the length of the show, I had to scrap People’s Parties but it never left the piece and was present in spirit. My final two song choices by Joni Mitchell were A Case of You and Both Sides Now.
A Case of You would be used as my reflection song whilst I drank my red wine and removed my make-up. The implication that someone or something was coming home to make me feel better were prominent but implied with my movements and commitments to get my make-up removed implied differently. A Case of You set the tone for things to follow, with the ending lyrics:
Oh but you are in my blood
You’re my holy wine
You’re so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you darling
Still I’d be on my feet
I would still be on my feet. (Mitchell, 70)
Listening to the song repeatedly made me process the ending lyrics. I thought about “you are in my blood… You’re so bitter…” (Mitchell, 70) and used this concept as a trapped and intoxicated memory. This implied that there was no escape from what was happening within the environment around me.
This next and final song used was Both Sides Now. This song held great impact for my second and final scene as this is where the use of rope and Shibari was used. This process was mentally draining much like the song is when you think about the panicle of everyday clouds in retrospect to the meaning and matter of life and the ability to sometimes not understand it. The songs use of tactical verses implying both positives and negatives of clouds, love and life, give meaning and possibilities for all threes situations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCnf46boC3I
Marina Abramović
Marina Abramović influenced me in to providing a piece of solo performance art as opposed to using a script and telling a story through my own words. I used aspects of her as she mostly performs in silence and applies visual stories. Her pieces Rhythm 0 (1974), The Artist is Present (2010) and Rhythm 5 and 2 (1974) all hold slight influence to my piece as they test the limitations of the body and the silence that beckons when someone else is inflicted with pain. Although mine was mental pain whereas Marina uses physical it still gave the audience time to reflect against their own struggles with their relationships with their selves and others.
Rhythm 0 became an influence to me as it pushed the boundaries of Marina’s body and left the audience in charge. With regards to my piece it left the audience spectators but the physical and mental abuse Marina challenged her body with was something I wanted to explore during my own work. I thought about the 72 items people used within the piece and how they used them. Realising the audience went positive to negative with her when they realised she was a statue was an interesting aesthetic to me. I expected my piece to be quite hard hitting and unthinkable but with truth behind it and that is what I experienced through the piece of Rhythm 0. You could not imagine how these people were interacting with her and that is what I wanted to recreate. The feeling and for the audience to witness something that you would not inflict upon yourself. The use of self-hostage was one I negotiated with friends and myself quite regularly. I wanted to tie myself and have razor blades around me to symbolise my struggles with myself and apply more of Marina’s work to myself. Using the blades, I would of cut myself, delicately and in areas known to not cause any issues, but after discussions I knew providing myself with physical pain would not have been an appealing for the audience and mentally it would not of helped my process continue.
The Process
My process began like any other. Slow and difficult and with conflict between ideas as I have previously written about. I wanted to originally do a piece on comedy but failing to do so I wanted to also look at the works of Shibari. In Japanese Shibari simply means “to tie”. Shibari is used to create style and is used to style around the natural curves of the body. The rope accentuates and applies texture to the body to create a new visual image and an artistic look. Shibari is used to enhance the sexualising of the body, not to create a hostage/ pained look. I wanted to take the sexualising and art of Shibari and apply it to this theme causing and creating my hostage look whilst still implying bondage and BDSM. I thought about the planning and particular flat knots and how pleasurable the aesthetic of it actually was and flipped the meaning. Shibari is specifically created to provide a none destressed look upon the person tied. Created for pleasure, it is usually performed as a duet, so the person tying has complete control. “Our chief anxiety here might be of disorder, for no one seems to be in control” (125, Pearson) I decided to take the concept of disorder and control and use the concept to take control of my own situation and performance and play with the idea of being a hostage within any environment.
I thought about the process of tying myself up and realised it would be a mentally and physically draining process. I looked at my previous bad relationships and my relationship with myself. I also asked friends and family about their struggles within relationships and their stories. It was an upsetting process with serious battles. When I began researching and asking friends about their struggles I did not realise how many people around me and close to me had suffered and that made the piece stronger and closer to myself. I had friends that had been abused, mentally and physically. One friend, close to me and currently going through a divorce had actually been assaulted by her partner so badly that he broke her jaw whilst their children slept. After this story I knew my process and performance had to be based on toxic relationships. I began to selfishly think about myself and not only the toxic relationships I had experienced but how my relationship with myself was not great. I processed my history of depression and anxiety and looked at my mental state closely before beginning to tie myself up. I had in-depth conversations with students and friends about whether or not this was a good idea but I knew I had to do this as it was a beautiful, yet sad but true story. After I had researched I began to tie. I took classes with an old family friend and he showed me, literally, the ropes of Shibari and I learnt how beautiful and technical it was. It was not causing the destressed look I had hoped for though. We began to progress and I learnt how to tie myself. My knots were not flat and they were messy which ended up beneficial as they looked rushed and un-neat. The unfriendly atmosphere that the knots created were the perfect tie for my aesthetic.
Whilst putting my piece together I realised every aspect of it was quite hard hitting. The music of Joni Mitchell kept the piece in time and implied everything could work out okay. I thought about the use of red wine and the comfort of a familiar space (in my case the recreation of my room/ old flat). I thought about how I used to sit on the floor after drinking two bottles of cheap red wine or nights where I have come home drunk and focused myself in front of the mirror and not leave until I had bullied myself about my weight or my appearance and they were all perfect components for the show. The knowledge of self-loathing and the fear of not being a good enough person for the environment and people you are around really creates constructive and honest art. It told a quick and simple story and implied something that no one would think about. The thought and construction of self-hostage is something people do not see or realise but it happens.
Reflection
Reflecting upon my piece all the components used were from factual stories, being my own and others and worked to create a hitting piece of art that I believe made people think. The use of the simple props such as a chair, laptop, mirror, rope, tape, red wine, wine glass, lipstick and make up wipes showed the downfall of a woman who was either being abused or abusing herself. It detailed being alone after work and finding yourself alone in a bad place. I feel the piece showed self-abuse and the downfall of the person performing. Reflecting upon my piece I have realised it is durable piece as it could be performed within any space. Prior to my piece I took time mentally to prepare but let my emotions go within the piece adding method acting throughout. The emotions were raw and real and justifiable. The music connected all the components of the piece and I believe the choices of A Case of You and Both Sides Now really fit the piece and adapted the story and concept giving it more life. The piece could use music or even silence as another aesthetic.
I would like to complete this blog post with another possible song that could have been used within the piece.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdIw6tEjyEg
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way. (Mraz, 2008)
(1927 words)
Bibliography
Joni Mitchell (1970) Joni Mitchell. Available from http://jonimitchell.com/music/song.cfm?id=181 [Accessed 27th May 2017]
Joni Mitchell (2010) Joni Mitchell – Both Sides Now (HD)
Available from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCnf46boC3I [Accessed 27th May 2017]
Joni Mitchell (1973) Crazy Crow Music. Available from http://jonimitchell.com/music/song.cfm?id=3 [Accessed 27th May 2017]
Jason Mraz (2009) Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison- Details in The Fabric
Available from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdIw6tEjyEg [Accessed 27th May 2017]
Pearson, M. (2010) Site Specific Performance. London: Palgrave Macmillian